My Generation Intern Experience
Posted by: jordanboyce on: May 28, 2009
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My name is Jordan Boyce. I am an 18 yr old teenager who moved across the country to go to the internship that overtook my dreams countless times from the age of 15. It wasn’t easy to pull away from my youth church, family, and friends to move 3,000 miles away immediately after high-school, but I am more convinced now than ever before that Generation Interns was Gods idea and not my own.
September
If you had asked if I knew who I was and had a solid foundation Christ when I arrived in Seattle I would tell you that my identity and foundation were unshakable. Ironically the Bible claims that everything that can be shaken…will be shaken. Pastor Jude started out the year with the revelation from Acts 6 that the Apostles gave themselves to the study of the word and to prayer. This shook me. Give yourself to word and prayer. I still struggle with reading my Bible everyday, and I still desire to pray so much more than I do now…but I will never be the same in my thinking about the Bible and prayer. It is not something to add to yourself, it is something to which you give yourself. I know that as I continue to grow in my life that phrase spoken in my mind by the unforgettable voice of Pastor Jude will reverberate for as long as I live, driving me back to that place of being given to the word and prayer.
October
As I was leaving Rhode Island I told many of my friends that I wanted to be in a place where I could grow as intern #82- just a face in the crowd with no last name or previous accomplishments of many merit. Though this was exactly what I needed, I underestimated what Christ would do to someone asking to be humbled. My October/November months I would constantly ask myself “What am I doing here?”. I had gotten what I asked for. It was through these times that I would crave prayer in the morning or Basic Doctrine. These had become escapes for me, and the few reasons I wanted to stay. Christ was ripping from me my pride, my self-centeredness, and my thinking that I had something to say to which everyone needed to listen. It seems like I had a crash course with all those proverbs that would essentially say “Shut up, and listen”. I felt no movement, no accomplishment, and no glory- Christ kept me perfectly still and in the stillness I remembered who was God. Christ got me to shut up long enough to stop telling people about Christ and actually meet Him myself.
November
During this month I had the chance to go on a trip across America to New York with the infamous Pastor Jude Fouquier. Pastor Jude was the reason I had wanted to be an intern in the first place. The unique thing about Pastor Jude is that he is the same Pastor Jude in Seattle, in New York, in a pulpit, or out of one. Of the dozen of life changing things I learned on that short trip two stand out above the rest. The first is that Pastor Jude is serious about Jesus Christ. In the waiting area he talks about Him, on the plane He reads about him, in the hotel room he prays to Him, and in the pulpit he preaches about Him. His fervor for Christ is unmatched, and more importantly, it is contagious. The second is that Pastor Jude is just as serious about having fun. Ill never forget all the stares we got when Pastor Jude decided to tune into a portion of “The Office” during the flight- his laugh could be heard in the cockpit. When Pastor Jude was at dinner with a group of world weary pastors he talked about the joy of ministry, told the same hilarious stories, and electrified the atmosphere with the pure joy he carries with him. We walked back to the hotel room waking half the floor with our uncontrollable laughter. It seems Pastor Jude has chosen to let no one outdo him in seriousness, or having fun- which is a decision I have decided to take on in my life.
December
Finally I began to feel at home in The City Church referring to Pastor Wendell and Gini as my pastors, GC as my youth group, and Seattle as my city. I decided that 4 months in Generation Interns was most certainly not long enough. Things began to kick into high gear as the Intern Christmas part was announced along with The GC College Cruise, which was almost immediately, coined the infamous “Booze Cruise”. Interns citywide ignored the “no dating” policy by immediately asking friends and other interns to attend the Booze Cruise with them. An announcement was soon made stating that we could not bring dates to the Booze Cruise, only friends of the opposite gender…okay. Towards the end of December the interns gathered for to celebrate Christmas as one. I can remember few times in my life where I felt more awkward than standing in front of 100 people rapping a Christmas song with Spencer to a Vanilla Ice beat blaring from my tiny Iphone speaker through a microphone so all in the room could enjoy these twisted sights and sounds Pastor Jon Smith created to torture us for the fun of others. It was at this party that I saw a side of my friend Dave Fernandez that i never knew existed. Ironically by the time I finally feel like I am home in Seattle I get on a flight to return to my real home: Rhode Island.
I returned home not expecting to give of myself, but was immediately thrust back into ministry mostly by coming alongside my friends who had become “weary in doing good”, I discovered during this time that I had more deposited in me during those 4 months than I had originally thought. What I had to give my home this time around was a world away than what I had to offer just 4 months prior. I knew I was still like a pot in the hands of God, but I was amazed at the change He had done in me through Generation Interns without me even being aware of the majority of it.
January
I arrive back at interns during the third week in January. Pastor Jude dives in Basice Doctrine II as the second half of the year kicks off. In the end of January a small group of interns and I decided, during doctrine class, to leave in 2 hours for Portland to attend GenUnleash Conference. As worship kicks off with 3,000 teenagers are packed into City Bible Church, I am inspired. The lights, the music, the words all blended together to capture every heart in the majesty of Christ. It is experiences like these that I will hold in my heart forever.
February
In early February Pastor Judah Smith announces that the workshops at this years GC Conference will be preached entirely by interns this year- myself being one of them. Personally this statement could not have been more of a shock; I even remember my friend Stephen laughing thinking Pastor Judah was joking. The next 8 weeks before conference was spent gearing up for our messages. During this time we met with Pastor Judah weekly at 5:55 am, where he taught us about effective communication. In just one hour with Pastor Judah I learned more about communication than I thought I would all year combined. I will hold those times of mentoring in my heart forever, because I know just how many youth pastors worldwide would give their whole paycheck to spend one hour with Judah Smith talking about preaching and leading. It was such an honor to sit under him during the year.
March
Finally Generation Church Conference came at the tail end of March bringing 2,500 teenagers from around the world with it. This was the moment when I along with 5 other interns were to preach- thinking back to that event I am shocked that Pastor Judah chose to have faith in a bunch of 18-20 yr olds. The support in that experience was overwhelming. My good friends Caleb and Dave prayed for me before the sermon and made fun of the fact that the one day I ever cut myself shaving was that day. Pastor Jon Smith introduced me- which meant so much to me, no one has captured more of my respect in such a short time as Pastor Jon. In the beginning of the intern year Pastor Jude stated that Pastor Jon was going to be the most impacting person in our intern year- he was right. My good friend from Hillsong Church in Australia, Adrian, was doing sound, and all my good friends were filling the first few rows. That message was the most fun time I have EVER had in my preaching, and it was impacting also. I know that day was a leap in one aspect of my growth, and I thank God for surrounding me so many awesome people to create that experience.
April
Immediately after the epic GC Conference a group of us interns flew off to the fabulous Las Vegas on a week long mission trip supporting Pastor Benny & Wendy Perez at The Church at South Las Vegas. We helped with The Kids at The Church at South Las Vegas, prayed with The Staff at The Church at South Las Vegas, and participated in Outreach at…you get the picture. Attending their youth church; Seven was an incredible experience. They had their entire lobby was set with blaring music (the louder the better), a stage complete with an open mic, and a tangibly excited atmosphere. This place was legit. Inside, worship was loud and crazy, the youth were serious, and the preaching was real talk. Seven is an awesome example to me of how youth church should be serious about Christ, and serious about fun- If Las Vegas is all about being over the top in all they do, then The Church at South Las Vegas has decided take that on- creating a church as alive and buzzing as the city it serves.
May
It was the beginning of the end as May 18th soon approached. I prepared to coast into May considering that interns was wrapping up, but Pastor Jon returned from a DC trip at the beginning of May bringing a new anointing to the internship. Things began to accelerate in prayer and worship as the end drew closer. Interns became like a rocket just about to break through the atmosphere- the pressure got highest, and the heat was at its most intense. The relationships that had been formed during the year began drawing closer as their time began to run out. God gave me the greatest group of friends to do life with this year, and I already miss each of them immensely. There are few people in this world who can, like Jesus, enjoy life and enjoy God at the same time, and I found a few of those people in my short year in Seattle.
A few days before graduation we had a 10k race for all the interns. That race reflected my year at interns- though I was frustrated at times, wanted to quit halfway through, and at times too tired to care- I put my head down and ran the race set before me.
I finished this race on May 18th as I awkwardly hugged and handshaked every City Church pastor imaginable. I gained friendships that I will have all my years, I gained mentors who have poured into me more than they will ever know, and I gained knowledge of Christ, His Church, and His People. Above all I gained a sturdy foundation in which Christ is the cornerstone. It is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me and as I return to Rhode Island the life I now live, I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.
Jesus Is In Sin City
Posted by: jordanboyce on: April 9, 2009
Las Vegas
Jesus Is In Sin City As an intern at The City Church I was able to travel with a team of 30 to Las Vegas to support The Church at South Las Vegas for a week. At first Las Vegas was a clone of Seattle other than the fact that the sun was out, it was 70 degrees, and we were stuck in the middle of the desert. A few days into the trip we took our vans (or moving boxes of terror and death) right through the strip (Las Vegas Boulevard)…the place known for the flashing lights, glitz and glamour, and the origination of the phrase “What happens in Vegas…” As we drove through the strip the lights soon gave way to darkness, the hotels became motels, and the casinos became strip joints. This is the Las Vegas everyone seeks- ironically it is still far away from all the pretty lights and shows…because sin cannot help but hide. Even in a place where sin is expected and encouraged it cannot go against its nature- it seeks the dark alleys and the secluded spots. This is the Las Vegas no one sees. It is never filmed because no one would watch that movie. It is never photographed because the pictures would never be bought. It is dark, lonely, and creepy. This is the consequence of the giltz and glam. As all sin has a consequence so the Vegas Strip has its dark side. This place is the true picture of Las Vegas. As I saw this place my heart sunk for the people who have been relegated to exist in this place. These people who bought into the Las Vegas lie, and now realize just what that lie entailed. There was no laughing, smiling, or winning large amounts of cash- there was only the grim reality of a life lived in addiction. Just as I thought I couldn’t bear this place any longer our car pulled along side a poorly lit building with a large sign straight out of the 70s. This building looked no different than the marriage chapels, porn shops, or tattoo parlors surrounding it- yet there was something much more enduing about this place. It looked as though it stood before the strip and will continue to stand afterwards. The sign that caught my attention had the simple and most powerful word written on it: Jesus. The sign did not say “Church”. The sign did not say “Help”. The sign did not say “Welcome”. It merely said: Jesus. Because in the end that is what people need. More than help, money, a church, or a mentor- the people who are really dealing with the consequences of rampant sin need Jesus. They need the manGod who chases them down and turns them around even when they are unable to do it themselves. Im glad that sign said Jesus. Though Churches close down, pastors fall, and help may never come- Jesus is, was, and always will be the salvation of mankind. It isn’t a coincidence that a sign bearing the name of Jesus is in the middle of the self proclaimed City of Sin…because if Jesus were here today- that is exactly where He would be.
Strange Ways of Love
Posted by: jordanboyce on: March 20, 2009
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My translation of the story of Hosea. A story of God’s grace poured out on us when we do everything to deserve the opposite.
- God comes to a young man named Hosea and tells him “I want you to get married.” Sweet. I want God to say that to me, but then the other foot drops “Heres the catch: Shes a little wild, she is quite the promiscuous woman, in fact she is going to become a prostitute, and I want to give you fair warning; some of your children will be born by other men because of her prostitution”. Hosea’s heart sank. Why!? Why couldn’t he marry a nice girl, fit for a young preacher to help him in his ministry? God had a reason for this scandalous marriage, he explained “This marriage will show how Isreal has acted like a common prostitute by breaking my heart, betraying my love and chasing after other Gods”. Hosea did what God asked enduring the humiliation of marrying a woman whom all knew was unfaithful. As time went on a miraculous thing happened when Hosea genuinely fell in love with Gomer. For awhile Hosea enjoyed their relationship while still knowing of the trouble to come. Hosea’s heart was filled with pride as he held his first child that Gomer had given him. Then it happened. Gomer began to return to her old ways. She began to party again, joined up with her old highschool friends, club hopping, and staying out late into the night. She returned to her old boyfriends, and found new men with whom to waste the night away. Hosea was heartbroken.
His wife tells of her love for him during the day, but betrays him during the night. Gomer became pregnant again- Hoseas heart must have sunk as he realized this child was not his own. The woman he loved so much refused to stay true to the one man who truly loved her. As time went on Gomer began to spiral out of control as one bad decision after another led her further and further away from her husband. Finally Hosea returned home to find a note that fulfilled what God had already told him would happen. Gomer had left Hosea to fulfill her lust with other men. Hosea would hear reports of every new guy she was wasting her love on. Hosea spent many long nights alone both angry at his wife for being so foolish, yet ready to take her back under his protection because of his true love for her. Finally God spoke to Hosea again saying “Hosea, go find your wife again. You and I both know she is committing adultery with another man, but this illustrates my unending love for Israel. Even though they have turned their back on me countless times, wasting the gifts I lavished on them, and turning to meaningless ways to find love- I love her. I will never stop loving Israel, but this time will be different. This time I will change her, never again will she run off, she will live with me- I will protect her, I will take car of her”.
Hosea called around and found out from her friends that Gomer had hit rock bottem. In fact, she was being sold as a slave downtown. Hosea found her standing on the slave block being auctioned off…she didn’t look good. She was weak, anemic, and her days on the streets had an obvious effect on her. She had lost all the beauty of her youth, she was skinny from hunger, and no longer very desirable, but Hosea looked upon her and saw the woman of her youth. Hosea remembered first meeting her, he remembered the butterfly’s in his stomach when they were dating, he remembered their honeymoon, and remembered when she was a faithful wife and mother. Hosea remembered when he CHOSE Gomer, and again lifted his arm high and bid on his own wife. “15 pieces of silver!” Hosea cried out. The other men backed down from their bids knowing Gomer truly belonged to Hosea. Though Hosea should be humiliated- he wasn’t. He had his first love back. He had bought her with a price.
Awakening Conference 2009
Posted by: jordanboyce on: March 12, 2009
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Awakening Poster
Hey Everyone, The Awakening Conference is RIGHT around the corner. The speakers this year are Adam McCain, Jonathan Stockstill, Darren Whitehead, Mike Servello, and Marco DeBarros. Also Deluge Band will be with us for worship. We are psyched- we have tons of surprises and can’t wait to blow you away. Just reminding you to register for the conference being held April 16-18 at New Life Worship Center, RI. Check out our website for details, hotels, schedule, wallpaper backgrounds, promo videos and more. Register by calling 401-232-5200 or log on to http://www.awakeningconference.net/
The parable of the little camp site.
Posted by: jordanboyce on: February 20, 2009
I cannot lie…i stole this from my dad, but since he does not have a blog it is now mine by default.
What if a rich entrepreneur staged a little challenge for you and 99 other people. He brought you out to a little camp site of 1 room cottages, 100 of them …. They over-looked a gorgeous hillside on the ocean. There are 10,000 acres on that hillside overlooking the ocean, he says. I will give you each a 100 acre plot under one condition—that you take the next 3 months and gather enough material to build a mansion worthy of that property. If the material you gather can be erected into a magnificent home, I will deed the property over to you. And by the way, I will pay for all the materials. You can live in these little cottages temporarily while you plan and purchase and organize. You have 90 days beginning first thing tomorrow. The first week, everyone was gone, off to Home Depot and the lumber yard and the stone quarries. Lots to do and progress to be made. Early that Sunday evening, the folks were noticing one off the little cottages got a shinny new set of shutters. It was a nice touch and spruced the place up a bit. It really must have impressed the people next door because the very next day, they laid a whole bunch of slate down next to the front stairs of their little cottage. The neighbors all sat out that night on the new patio and had a cold one. It was great. With all the shopping going on, a deal here and there for the cottage was tough to pass up. Things got a bit more serious when the people on the corner added a whole new room to their cottage—a TV room—wow what great idea. Soon, the little camp site was abuzz with all the construction going on. Hammers and saws and backhoes for the in-ground pool. It was a flurry of activity from dawn til dusk. In no time at all that little camp site could rival any first class resort this side of the Delaware river. You would not recognize the place. Well the 90 days came quicker than anyone anticipated and with all the running around for the little cottage, not much effort was able to be devoted to the ocean front project. But when the rich owner returned right on time and demanded all preparation and gathering cease, he couldn’t help gasping at the transformation of the little cottages. This is wonderful he exclaimed, but everyone of you must move out and leave all this behind. I’m having this bulldozed in the morning. Let’s take a look at what you’ve gathered for the other side. You guessed it, not one house was ever built on the side of the ocean cliff. Most of the materials had ended up in the cottages. It’s a lot like us with eternity…. All this effort on the temporary cottage, but how much are we throwing to the other side? I think we just don’t understand the concept. Maybe it’s too simple.
Red Square: Trees, A Park Bench, and Students
Posted by: jordanboyce on: December 27, 2008
Every week we go on campus to the University of Washington with the Generation Interns. We witness, we talk to international students, and every week 2 of us open air preach in Red Square (The main part of campus which EVERYONE walks through while switching classes). This was my week to preach. I knew it was coming- I felt it. I looked up during announcements for merely a second which was more than enough time for Jon Smith to tell me it was my turn.
I like preaching. I feel at home when im preaching. I exist to worship, I live to preach. I was nervous to preach on campus…in fact, everything in me didnt want to preach. Firstly, I would have you know that i am not a fan of open air preaching…I dont think it is very effective, and i hate adding to the sterotypical screaming Christian (ex. TURN OR BURN!). All of my convictions were telling me to not preach- its not like the people hear you anyway. People merely laugh and walk by. Besides the only people who scream things on campuses are the crazies, but I honestly felt in my spirit I was supposed to preach. Also my authority told me I was going to preach, and based on that alone i would preach.
When we arrived at Red Square I chickened out. I couldnt do it. Ive never been afraid to speak in front of people, but this….this scared me. Maybe it was because I knew I was supposed to preach, but my logic was telling me to RUN! I cannot describe to you how badly i do not want to be a character on the movie “SAVED!”.
As the square began to fill up my heart began to sink. I refused to preach. It went against everything I believed. So a girl took my spot. My friend Meridith spoke to me about how I would never know how just a word could impact someone, but my argument was that they would only hear a word because no one stops and people just laugh at the loud, crazy Christians! Meridith left me to philosophize away what I knew I was supposed to do, and she got up and preached- incredibly well.
Finally I gave in. I got up and I preached as loud as I could- and believe me…it was loud, very loud. I felt like an idiot. These people werent even hearing me! They were laughing, some dudes were making fun of me…i cant blame them. I stumbled through my message. Trust me, it was bad. I captured no ones attention- I made no direct points, it was….sad.
To be honest I wasnt preaching to the lost…I was preaching to interns. I “knew” no one would hear my message except interns who were actually standing there so i preached to impress the Christians who were standing around. I preached to show off my skill at it. I preached because I am prideful…because of that I sucked. My words were about God, but my thoughts and heart were on myself…no wonder it was such a horrible experience. I walked away feeling defeated, stupid, and frustrated.
I checked my facebook last night and recieved a comment from my friend Smitha who goes to UW saying this “I heard someone in my law class who was impacted by your preaching on campus today : ) Thought you should know”.
I still dont know exactly how I feel about open air preaching, but I learned something very valuable yesterday…I learned that the Holy Spirit knows what He is doing. I learned that preaching is about the people, not the preacher. I learned that just one word truly can affect someone. I learned that I am unlearned. I learned that when Mary was telling the servants “Whatever Christ tells you to do, do it” was actually a message to us as servants of Christ.
Most importantly I learned that it is easy to do Christianity in church. Its not hard to preach to Christians. Its easy to practice Love for those who Love you. Its even easy to talk about souls, but when it comes down to actually doing something about saving souls it takes a true love for souls. I learned that I do not love souls like Christ does. There is a story where a famous revivalist brought a young preacher to a window and asked the young man what he saw. “Trees, a park bench, and a couple of students” was the young mans answer. Crying, the revivalis said “Do you know what I see? I see souls…Lost Souls.”
When I preached I looked out at Red square and I saw some trees, a park bench, and students…God help me see souls, lost souls.
Flaws. Shortcomings. Humanity.
Posted by: jordanboyce on: December 11, 2008
“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” -Thomas Merton.
So maybe im dwelling on this subject of pride wayy too much, but i constantly oscillate between this subject and the subject of Grace…maybe it is because Pride is the greatest obstacle to Grace.
Awakening 08 was an incredible event. The theme was “Awaken the Real”. We wanted to focus on being transparent…humble before God and people. A fatal flaw in teenagers is the kneejerk reaction to cover up their flaws and failures, and in the church it is killing our teenagers. We have so many teenagers in our midst that randomly backslide- totally forsaking all that God has done for them. It seems to come out of nowhere, but in reality the forsaking always begins at the covering of their flaws and screw ups.
Many of you know i strongly believe that the church should be a place for the UNsaved to come, be accepted, be loved, and meet people who are wholly unafraid to be themselves. This is why humility is absolutely essential to us as Christians.
Humility makes us real.
Humility shows our flaws.
Humility shows our shortcomings.
Humility shows our humanity.
People are desperately searching for someone to relate to- and yes Jesus is the answer to desperation….but you may be the first Jesus that they meet.
People are changed by the anointing and presence of the Almighty God. Christians are supposed to be conduits and containers of the anointing and the presence…This is why i believe humility is so important- because the one thing that will singlehandedly withhold His anointing on your life- is pride.
why?
God desires to be glorified. It is He and He alone who deserves all honor, praise, and focus. Pride is mans feeble attempt to attract the attention to him(her)self. Pride desires to show our own importance- while taking eyes off of Christ.
“God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves.” – DL Moody
I was looking up what my name means today, and I saw in the Hebrew it meant “To descend, pour out, to humble oneself”. The Jordan river is the point of one of Jesus’ most humbling experience- letting a (flawed, sin born, screw up) human baptize Him. It was His CHOICE to humble himself.
I want to live up to my name. I want to practice Humility. Practice being real- with God and people. So that If someone meets me- just maybe they will actually be able to glimpse Christ.
Sleepless in Seattle
Posted by: jordanboyce on: November 20, 2008
I have been waiting to use that line for 3 years- it being 3 in the morning actually legitimizes it.
Since its so late (or early, depending on how youd like to look at 3 am), and ive walked the hallways enough to wear a path into it…So i guess ill just write on whatever comes to my mind.
Pride and youth are inseperable.
My dad always says that.
I believe its true. Im a teenager. I know alot of teenagers- and pride is…all…over…the..place. Right? Have you experienced this?
Im not discounting myself for a moment. Im a prideful dude, but my God do I wish not to be.
Being in a brand new environment for the past month and a half has been weird. Sometimes when im walking from the student center to my dorm room (and no one is around so they dont think im crazy)- I wonder aloud “What am i doing here?”. I knew that removing myself from my surroundings would be a challenge, but I wasnt expecting…this. Who knew that i based myself so much on my surroundings!? I have found that I am utterly unable to tell my testimony without veering off and telling groundZero’s story. I never knew just how much of my comedy was completely different, and only funny to my friends who are way funnier than me. I guess people in RI are just used to me saying what i think and are used to me being inflammatory- you know, like, “Christian music sucks” or “Christians are weird” or “Hayden Christensen is a horrific actor”- the usual. I never knew just how little I was when you took so much that i based my life on- and here i am left with… Jesus.
Anyway back to Pride.
The biggest thing i have tried to put into practice here is a “quiet strength”. Have you ever had this talk with Pastor Marco? We used to talk about the about the quiet confidence Jesus provides to us, but talking and doing are two completely different things. I have left my youth group, my place of leadership, etc. and i have come to a place where I am intern #83…which is completely what i wanted, but i didnt know just how much pride I would have to deal with.
I try and pretend like people dont get on my nerves- but my God they do. I try and not go serious and “school” someone i think is wrong in whatever they are saying…i try and keep my mouth shut, but i hate it. There is such a desire in humans (at least in this human) to be known- for people to know what you have done, and it is unnatural to fight against these desires. It is innately in us to do our best to impress people. Which i try and do…alot.
But then I read the Bible.
I see Jesus go through 6 courts without saying a word! Finally when they get Him to speak- all He says is that “It is as you say” 6 courts! An entire night of people saying total lies to Him, beating Him, and spitting in His face…and He doesnt say a word. Dont youth think the “Fully Man” part of Jesus would be screaming inside of Him to raise himself in the air, call the armies of heaven together, and declare His glory? I bet he had an inner war over not giving into pride and letting everybody know just who He IS.
What about Paul…the greatest Apostle. He writes to the Corinthian church telling them that he did not come with fancy words, but with a power of God so that His greatness can be shown through Paul’s weaknesses. That is sick! I am able to talk. God has given me a mind for debate, and i enjoy that and speaking. I want so bad to show people just what im “oh so good at”, but then I read the very book I try and live and i see Paul telling people that He is totally fine with looking weak.
Doesnt that just mess with your mind!? It is totally against what is normal for us as humans!
Paul resisted the urge to speak well, and use his oh so incredible talents. Im surrounded by people of which many seem to be in a rat race of talents talents talents, but when i read the Bible i see weakness, weakness, weakness. I know this isnt a very popular thing to say.
Simply. My dilemma is that I am prideful and want to be even oh so much more prideful so that everyone can know who i am, why im here, and where i come from…but i hear God telling me constantly “Bow your head”. I try and be no better than a servant. Im beginning to wonder if we have never heard of those who were truly the best Christians. They arent saints, they never wrote books, and we dont have their story in the Jesus Freak book…maybe. I dont know. Can you tell that i wrote this at 3…now 4 in the morning?
All i know is that humility isnt popular. Keeping your mouth shut doesnt make you look cool. You dont get your name up in lights. No one recognizes your Bible knowledge or incredible mind. Its just you and God.
And i think thats the point.
I Am Insufficient
Posted by: jordanboyce on: October 29, 2008
2Cr 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Did you read that?
Read it again.
Paul would rather boast in his INABILITIES! He would rather talk about how incapable he is except for Christ. In fact, I remember Paul saying that one church he went to- he did so with few regal words and only the power of God.
Let me get this straight…Paul is secure in his insecurities because in God works better when you dont get in the way.
This note isnt for you- its for me. Im having a hard time bowing my head to others who i deem less fit than me. I have a hard time living in a quiet confidence of Jesus Christ. I would much rather boast, and take people down a few notches with my incredible knowledge in humility. Besides, being quiet never gets you noticed. Right? The quiet ones are the ones who God will use greatly- behind the scenes…like thats a bad thing. But Paul. PAUL. The greatest apostle of all is excited that He has weaknesses, so that Christ can fill them.
Im wondering sometimes if I get in the way of Jesus too much. Maybe its not blatant pride, but I want to be loud enough that people dont know that i have insecurities, that i am incomplete, and that Im broken both by Christ- and the world. I want to be loud enough that people notice what I can do- not quiet enough that everyone is aware of what i cant do…yet, thats exactly what Paul is saying. That if he is going to open his big mouth, that he will open it only to tell you how messed up he is…in order to show you the incredible power of God.
Sometimes i think that all our skills and abilities- the very things that God wants to use, keep us from being used because we cant shut up about the gifts and talents God has given us. I just want to be used. Thats it. I know im not the first choice. Im not the best choice. But i want to be chosen nonetheless.
Here is my prayer: Father, please reduce me…to Christ.
Iphone
Posted by: jordanboyce on: August 29, 2008
This is a blog I wrote from my iPhone- this is sick.
