Red Square: Trees, A Park Bench, and Students

Every week we go on campus to the University of Washington with the Generation Interns. We witness, we talk to international students, and every week 2 of us open air preach in Red Square (The main part of campus which EVERYONE walks through while switching classes). This was my week to preach. I knew it was coming- I felt it. I looked up during announcements for merely a second which was more than enough time for Jon Smith to tell me it was my turn. 
I like preaching. I feel at home when im preaching. I exist to worship, I live to preach. I was nervous to preach on campus…in fact, everything in me didnt want to preach. Firstly, I would have you know that i am not a fan of open air preaching…I dont think it is very effective, and i hate adding to the sterotypical screaming Christian (ex. TURN OR BURN!). All of my convictions were telling me to not preach- its not like the people hear you anyway. People merely laugh and walk by. Besides the only people who scream things on campuses are the crazies, but I honestly felt in my spirit I was supposed to preach. Also my authority told me I was going to preach, and based on that alone i would preach.
When we arrived at Red Square I chickened out. I couldnt do it. Ive never been afraid to speak in front of people, but this….this scared me. Maybe it was because I knew I was supposed to preach, but my logic was telling me to RUN! I cannot describe to you how badly i do not want to be a character on the movie “SAVED!”. 
As the square began to fill up my heart began to sink. I refused to preach. It went against everything I believed. So a girl took my spot. My friend Meridith spoke to me about how I would never know how just a word could impact someone, but my argument was that they would only hear a word because no one stops and people just laugh at the loud, crazy Christians! Meridith left me to philosophize away what I knew I was supposed to do, and she got up and preached- incredibly well. 
Finally I gave in. I got up and I preached as loud as I could- and believe me…it was loud, very loud. I felt like an idiot. These people werent even hearing me! They were laughing, some dudes were making fun of me…i cant blame them. I stumbled through my message. Trust me, it was bad. I captured no ones attention- I made no direct points, it was….sad.

To be honest I wasnt preaching to the lost…I was preaching to interns. I “knew” no one would hear my message except interns who were actually standing there so i preached to impress the Christians who were standing around. I preached to show off my skill at it. I preached because I am prideful…because of that I sucked. My words were about God, but my thoughts and heart were on myself…no wonder it was such a horrible experience. I walked away feeling defeated, stupid, and frustrated.
I checked my facebook last night and recieved a comment from my friend Smitha who goes to UW saying this “I heard someone in my law class who was impacted by your preaching on campus today : ) Thought you should know”. 

I still dont know exactly how I feel about open air preaching, but I learned something very valuable yesterday…I learned that the Holy Spirit knows what He is doing. I learned that preaching is about the people, not the preacher. I learned that just one word truly can affect someone. I learned that I am unlearned. I learned that when Mary was telling the servants “Whatever Christ tells you to do, do it” was actually a message to us as servants of Christ. 
Most importantly I learned that it is easy to do Christianity in church. Its not hard to preach to Christians. Its easy to practice Love for those who Love you. Its even easy to talk about souls, but when it comes down to actually doing something about saving souls it takes a true love for souls. I learned that I do not love souls like Christ does. There is a story where a famous revivalist brought a young preacher to a window and asked the young man what he saw. “Trees, a park bench, and a couple of students” was the young mans answer. Crying, the revivalis said “Do you know what I see? I see souls…Lost Souls.” 

When I preached I looked out at Red square and I saw some trees, a park bench, and students…God help me see souls, lost souls.

Flaws. Shortcomings. Humanity.

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” -Thomas Merton.

So maybe im dwelling on this subject of pride wayy too much, but i constantly oscillate between this subject and the subject of Grace…maybe it is because Pride is the greatest obstacle to Grace.
Awakening 08 was an incredible event. The theme was “Awaken the Real”. We wanted to focus on being transparent…humble before God and people. A fatal flaw in teenagers is the kneejerk reaction to cover up their flaws and failures, and in the church it is killing our teenagers. We have so many teenagers in our midst that randomly backslide- totally forsaking all that God has done for them. It seems to come out of nowhere, but in reality the forsaking always begins at the covering of their flaws and screw ups.
Many of you know i strongly believe that the church should be a place for the UNsaved to come, be accepted, be loved, and meet people who are wholly unafraid to be themselves. This is why humility is absolutely essential to us as Christians.
Humility makes us real.
Humility shows our flaws.
Humility shows our shortcomings.
Humility shows our humanity.

People are desperately searching for someone to relate to- and yes Jesus is the answer to desperation….but you may be the first Jesus that they meet.
People are changed by the anointing and presence of the Almighty God. Christians are supposed to be conduits and containers of the anointing and the presence…This is why i believe humility is so important- because the one thing that will singlehandedly withhold His anointing on your life- is pride.
why?

God desires to be glorified. It is He and He alone who deserves all honor, praise, and focus. Pride is mans feeble attempt to attract the attention to him(her)self. Pride desires to show our own importance- while taking eyes off of Christ.

“God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves.” – DL Moody

I was looking up what my name means today, and I saw in the Hebrew it meant “To descend, pour out, to humble oneself”. The Jordan river is the point of one of Jesus’ most humbling experience- letting a (flawed, sin born, screw up) human baptize Him. It was His CHOICE to humble himself.
I want to live up to my name. I want to practice Humility. Practice being real- with God and people. So that If someone meets me- just maybe they will actually be able to glimpse Christ.