Sleepless in Seattle

I have been waiting to use that line for 3 years- it being 3 in the morning actually legitimizes it.
Since its so late (or early, depending on how youd like to look at 3 am), and ive walked the hallways enough to wear a path into it…So i guess ill just write on whatever comes to my mind. 

Pride and youth are inseperable. 
My dad always says that. 
I believe its true. Im a teenager. I know alot of teenagers- and pride is…all…over…the..place. Right? Have you experienced this? 
Im not discounting myself for a moment. Im a prideful dude, but my God do I wish not to be. 

Being in a brand new environment for the past month and a half has been weird. Sometimes when im walking from the student center to my dorm room (and no one is around so they dont think im crazy)- I wonder aloud “What am i doing here?”. I knew that removing myself from my surroundings would be a challenge, but I wasnt expecting…this. Who knew that i based myself so much on my surroundings!? I have found that I am utterly unable to tell my testimony without veering off and telling groundZero’s story. I never knew just how much of my comedy was completely different, and only funny to my friends who are way funnier than me. I guess people in RI are just used to me saying what i think and are used to me being inflammatory- you know, like, “Christian music sucks” or “Christians are weird” or “Hayden Christensen is a horrific actor”- the usual. I never knew just how little I was when you took so much that i based my life on- and here i am left with… Jesus. 
Anyway back to Pride.

The biggest thing i have tried to put into practice here is a “quiet strength”. Have you ever had this talk with Pastor Marco? We used to talk about the about the quiet confidence Jesus provides to us, but talking and doing are two completely different things. I have left my youth group, my place of leadership, etc. and i have come to a place where I am intern #83…which is completely what i wanted, but i didnt know just how much pride I would have to deal with. 
I try and pretend like people dont get on my nerves- but my God they do. I try and not go serious and “school” someone i think is wrong in whatever they are saying…i try and keep my mouth shut, but i hate it. There is such a desire in humans (at least in this human) to be known- for people to know what you have done, and it is unnatural to fight against these desires. It is innately in us to do our best to impress people. Which i try and do…alot.
But then I read the Bible.

I see Jesus go through 6 courts without saying a word! Finally when they get Him to speak- all He says is that “It is as you say” 6 courts! An entire night of people saying total lies to Him, beating Him, and spitting in His face…and He doesnt say a word. Dont youth think the “Fully Man” part of Jesus would be screaming inside of Him to raise himself in the air, call the armies of heaven together, and declare His glory? I bet he had an inner war over not giving into pride and letting everybody know just who He IS.

What about Paul…the greatest Apostle. He writes to the Corinthian church telling them that he did not come with fancy words, but with a power of God so that His greatness can be shown through Paul’s weaknesses. That is sick! I am able to talk. God has given me a mind for debate, and i enjoy that and speaking. I want so bad to show people just what im “oh so good at”, but then I read the very book I try and live and i see Paul telling people that He is totally fine with looking weak. 
Doesnt that just mess with your mind!? It is totally against what is normal for us as humans!
Paul resisted the urge to speak well, and use his oh so incredible talents. Im surrounded by people of which many seem to be in a rat race of talents talents talents, but when i read the Bible i see weakness, weakness, weakness. I know this isnt a very popular thing to say. 
Simply. My dilemma is that I am prideful and want to be even oh so much more prideful so that everyone can know who i am, why im here, and where i come from…but i hear God telling me constantly “Bow your head”. I try and be no better than a servant. Im beginning to wonder if we have never heard of those who were truly the best Christians. They arent saints, they never wrote books, and we dont have their story in the Jesus Freak book…maybe. I dont know. Can you tell that i wrote this at 3…now 4 in the morning?
All i know is that humility isnt popular. Keeping your mouth shut doesnt make you look cool. You dont get your name up in lights. No one recognizes your Bible knowledge or incredible mind. Its just you and God. 

And i think thats the point.

I Am Insufficient

2Cr 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Did you read that? 
Read it again. 

Paul would rather boast in his INABILITIES! He would rather talk about how incapable he is except for Christ. In fact, I remember Paul saying that one church he went to- he did so with few regal words and only the power of God. 
Let me get this straight…Paul is secure in his insecurities because in God works better when you dont get in the way. 

This note isnt for you- its for me. Im having a hard time bowing my head to others who i deem less fit than me. I have a hard time living in a quiet confidence of Jesus Christ. I would much rather boast, and take people down a few notches with my incredible knowledge in humility. Besides, being quiet never gets you noticed. Right? The quiet ones are the ones who God will use greatly- behind the scenes…like thats a bad thing. But Paul. PAUL. The greatest apostle of all is excited that He has weaknesses, so that Christ can fill them. 

Im wondering sometimes if I get in the way of Jesus too much. Maybe its not blatant pride, but I want to be loud enough that people dont know that i have insecurities, that i am incomplete, and that Im broken both by Christ- and the world. I want to be loud enough that people notice what I can do- not quiet enough that everyone is aware of what i cant do…yet, thats exactly what Paul is saying. That if he is going to open his big mouth, that he will open it only to tell you how messed up he is…in order to show you the incredible power of God. 
Sometimes i think that all our skills and abilities- the very things that God wants to use, keep us from being used because we cant shut up about the gifts and talents God has given us. I just want to be used. Thats it. I know im not the first choice. Im not the best choice. But i want to be chosen nonetheless. 

Here is my prayer: Father, please reduce me…to Christ.

Iphone

This is a blog I wrote from my iPhone- this is sick.

Generation Conference

Its time. I am finally going to blog about the amazing Generation Conference in Utica, NY that our youth attended last week.  This year was EPIC.  In fact, this years Generation Conference was the best conference I have ever been to. The set up and sound was off the hook this year, and Craig Groschels opening night was the most incredible opening night I have ever experienced.  His prayer that God would keep us awake at night over a burden He has placed in our hearts is coming to pass in my life. I was so glad to be able to see Pastor Mike Servello Jr who I will always consider my pastor, and Pastor Jude Fouquier who is responsible for messing up my life when he prayed over me for a heart like his own for teenagers.  The leadership sessions were beyond comparison…we have been quoting those sessions in every conversation about groundZero in the past few days.  Pastor Steven Furtick was such an inspiration to me, and i am incredibly thankful that P. Mike had him pray over me- He was such an impacting speaker to our youth…it must have been the hair.  

Of course the Apostle C, Benny Perez, and Pastor Jude did what they do best by rocking us to our core.  They are truly giants in Christianity, and a living picture of serving the local church.  I cannot describe what the worship sessions did to me and my youth group…It was not a spiritual high.  Instead, it was a spiritual deepening.  In one car ride home- the 5 guys in my car opened them to a place of vulnerability I have never before been with anyone, and I know that I have gained brothers for a lifetime because of what happened this weekend.  

Next year we are going to mobilize our youth group and Rhode Island much earlier and as Steve Patton (WHO TORE THE PLACE UP) said “Next year at Generation Conference- Rhode Island will be taking up an entire section”.

High School Graduation Speech

Im no valedictorian- not by any means, but my school has an interesting way of choosing who is going to give a high school graduation speech: they let the students vote.  So I got voted to give the speech (probly because i talk alot). Also my cap is the one with legos-im very proud of that. Here it is..

Hi my name is Jordan Boyce.  I have been going to Masters Regional Academy for 5 years, and it is my honor to give the graduating speech for the class of 2008.  Speechwriting isn’t easy, ill have you know.  It is a tedious process where many steps must be taken before there is a final work.  When beginning to write this very speech a terrible thought hit me- Here I am writing a speech, but what about all my classmates!? Will they ever learn how to correctly prepare a high school graduation speech?  This horrific thought set off a series of other horrific thoughts: What about all the people I am reading my speech to!? What if you don’t know how to prepare a high school graduation speech!  After surveying the horrible situation at hand I had a Eureka moment.  I have decided that I am going to share with everyone here the steps involved in writing a high school graduation speech, but on the other hand…I have to talk about the class, right?  Luckily, the process of writing a speech is the exact process we as students have gone through over the past four years. 

When the time comes for you to write a high school graduation speech you must first lay out all of your ideas. Some ideas you will use, others you pass on.  Our first day of 9^th grade we had 20 students, as you can see we are graduating with just 14- not all of your ideas will make it through.  As you work through your ideas eventually you get settled into the ones you are going to base your speech around. This is where I reveal step 2: Writing.  Here your individual ideas begin to merge into a rough draft.  In 10^th and 11^th grade our class had slowly begun to take shape. Through trips, chapels, and life our class began forming into the graduating class you see today.  Have you ever heard the phrase “Writing is a process”? So is life, and we were going through 7 hours of life a day together.  Individual ideas intertwined with others began forming the personality of our class, and through our friendships we became more life a family.   But here I must warn you- You will go through times of extreme pressure when writing your speech.  There have been times of great pressure we have put on each other and our class over the past four years.  In fact, if you did not know our class well you might just think we did not get along, but it was during these hard times where we started discovering who we were.  Stuck in a class of 14 people for hours on end teaches you alot about yourself.  It was during these times of pressure we discovered that hidden away within all of us was a leader- just waiting to be shaped.

After your ideas are combined to form the rough draft of your speech you are ready to meet step 3: The Editing Process.  Here is where your labor of love will be given to a higher literary authority to be edited.  This speech was edited by Mr Dube, and Mr Sierakowski, so if you dont like it: blame them.  For the past two years, Masters has surely been an editing process.  For us students the editing process has been a realizing who we are and deciding who we are going to be.  This past year the teachers looked at the rough drafts of our lives, and began the editing process.  We were challenged.  Our standards were challenged.  Our faith was challenged.  Our actions were challenged.  Im glad to tell you today that my class rose to the challenge.  Masters Regional Academy was truly successful in training leaders in our class.  If you haven’t heard my class had the lamest senior week in the history of Masters, but that’s the bad thing about leaders: they all have opinions.  We were pulled in so many directions we ended up going to Alicia’s house, and AMF Langs for bowling, but even when there was a 12 against 2 count for one particular location, our class did not override anyone in choosing where to spend senior week.  Our class has leaders- not Lords.  

Our class could not have undergone the editing process under better teachers than those we have had at Masters.  The teachers took the time to befriends us, learn about us- figure us out. These teachers deeply cared about all of us becoming the men and women of God we are called to be.  Men like Doctor Ryan, Mr. Sierakowski, and Pastor Marco’s challenges to us formed us into the thinking Christians we are today, and Mrs Petrarca’s and Mrs Okons constant grace and encouragement gave us the sense that we can and we will make it through anything.  

Because of these teachers and this school- Stephanie, Amy, and Deanna are unstoppable. Liz, Cait, and Charissa spread their love and joy.  Shadlee and Eric are forever loyal and always hardworking.  Alicia, and Dede are following big dreams. Mike, Britt, and Victoria are leaders who completely give of themselves, and As for me- I passed math (We made it Mrs P!)

The writing of my class’s speech has happened over the last four years, and today you are looking at the final draft.  Seniors, this is it.  The ideas, the process, the hurt, the love, the self discovery, the choices all come down to this.  In 9^th grade you were just a bunch of ideas, but four years later you have become- a masterpiece.  There is a famous quote that states that “You are the only Bible that a lost world may ever read.”  As we move up and on I pray that everyone that reads your life also reads ours, and whoever reads our lives sees the beautiful story of Jesus Christ within it.

 

 

Can I Try? (An Allegory)

Sorry. Im a horrible blogger. anyway.

Im on vacation and every time we go on vacation we rent 4 Wheelers and take them to the desert side of the island we are on.  For hours we rip up sand dunes and fly down dirt roads.  I remember the first time my dad let me ride my own 4 wheeler. He brought me around the Kawasaki giving me a few pointers. Taught me how to go, stop, turn, and…well thats it. After about 5 minutes we were off and riding.  On the first trip I flipped my Kawasaki, popped a tire, and got so burned by the sun i could barely move by the end of the day. I was beat up, bruised, and most certainly screwed up my first shot at mastering this Kawasaki, but…i learned. alot. 

Imagine this.

We arrived at the place to pick up the bikes.  My dad then explained the how the bike works, why the bike works, and just how important the bike working is.  He then pointed out each and every intricate detail. Took apart the bike. Taught me how to put it together. He then took the bike for a spin. Taught me the three point turn. Taught me how to ride burms. Taught me how to jump. Taught me how to land. All the while saying “If you do what im doing you will be successful on this thing!”. As the hours go by im losing interest.  My dad tries to invent new ways of keeping my attention. He shows me a video about my bike.  He has a powerpoint about my bike. He even writes a song about my bike! Hard as he tries he cannot keep my attention on the bike.  He doesnt know why. This bike is the coolest thing on the face of the planet! No other machine can do what this Kawasakie can do.  If i could only learn to ride this Kawasaki properly i would be unstoppable, but i…i just want to ride it. Maybe ill flip it. Maybe ill pop a tire. Maybe ill hit a car, but i just want to ride the Kawasaki for my self.

To much of youth ministry is about teaching how to do Christianity successfully without letting the teenagers actually do it.  If they have an idea- let them do it. If they want to run the worship- let them do it. How about greeting ministry, announcement, media, website, myspace, conference, retreat, small group, bible study, school club, missions trips, audio/video, hosting, podcast, PREACHING!

Let the TEENAGERS do it. Will they crash? Absolutely. But its the only way they will learn. 

Changing Course

Well, I was going to write more about more about Awakening, but i think you got the point- It was amazing.  So I have decided to change up my bog a little bit. First! I have decided to actually blog.  Yup, more blogs at more times…we will see how that works out. Second! I have had a heart lately to talk about youth ministry as i have seen it, see it, and all from the viewpoint of a teenager…because I am, in fact, 17. Im not talking theology (obviously), nor will I talk about the newest things other people are doing (You probly know already), and I wont talk about what we have specifically done at my youth group (because you probly dont care, and copy/paste ministry sucks anyway).  Im going to be talking about concepts ive learned as a teenager growing up with with a youth group that has been all over the spectrum in terms of youth pastors, worship bands, and amount of youth. Concepts.  I like concepts.  Take what you want from what I have to say, leave it, challenge it, ask about it, or dont.  I understand im no guru in youth ministry. IM just a 17 year old, and that is all im claiming to be- but 17 is the age we lose all of our youth…why?

jb

Awakening- The Music

The music at this conference was unique and awesome.  The very first night we had the gospel band of Bobby Perry (who also spoke this year). The second day we had our own P Marco & The Czar do a rap set, and This Beautiful Republic and Aaron Gillespie tore the place apart with huge Rock- and a Real message. Friday we had one of the most sweet times of worship ive taken part of- seriously i didnt want to preach.  The awakening band (groundZero’s youth band) were incredible this conference.  They worked soo soo hard leading up to the conference and never complained. 

 

I feel like we targeted walls that need to be broken in New England.  I heard one kid say during TBR’s concert “Dude, i cant believe this is at a church man”. I couldnt believe it either.  Our church has come a looong way. Passion was infused in the rock that night.  

The Czar killed it! He has this song “After the Pain” that brings me to tears almost every time he does it.  Its so real and you can see his brokeness before God.  I remember commenting to my friend “huh. its like he has actually gone through actual pain” It was so relatable, and as a youth- i appreciate that. 

God really showed up in every genre, in every session.  It was awesome to see the gospel, worship, rap, and rock all blend together to show a picture of Christianity. No one judged the music, no one was legalistic (if they were they missed out- and missed the point).  No, these teenagers didn’t judge merely by looks or sound- they judged by content, and there was some incredible content (life changing really) to the music at Awakening 08.  

Interjection

Never read “Blue Like Jazz” immediately following a conference.  It is just too much to handle. By the way- that book made my head spin, and i loved every minute of it. 

Awakening- The Youth.

My God! Well, it seems i have been a bit late to the blogosphere about awakening. Pastor Mike, and Steve Patton beat me 2 it (awesome reads). Honestly, i cannot believe the amazing things God did during awakening. I know God has given us a unique vision for a conference that centers around diversity. God himself took our plans and turned them into a reality. God wove a gorgeous tapestry of Christianity though the speakers, worship, and message. This year, was incredibly different than last. Last year it seemed everyone was there to check the event out. This year it was different. We were starving. The youth. The youth leaders. We were desperate for change. Everyone sucked in worship, teaching, community not because it was the cool thing, but because it was needed to survive- at least thats how i felt.

The youth that attended this conference were incredible. It was awesome having more time in between sessions (we only did 1 morning session), because so many youth from all different churches were able to chill together. The atmosphere was incredible. Before every night session- people were lined up in the lobby chanting, yelling, and jockeying for position before the flood. Once inside- people were leading cheers as Muse was blaring overhead (one youth group even began a wave). The youth were incredibly engaged- sucking up every word a speaker had to offer. They pressed in hardcore to the worship led by their peers.

The very first night the youth FLOODED the alter after Chris Hill preached (an amazing word). You could feel the hunger in the atmosphere immediately from night one. The night w. Aaron Gillespie was AMAZING (more on that later)- where the youth were literally able to gather around him as he sang his version of Amazing Grace. Earlier that day The Czar (Steve Patton) absolutely BROUGHT IT w. his amazing ability to engage people with his Rap (he was so rea- he rapped about pain like he has actually experience lol)- i liked it and im a rockhead.

There were youth from all styles, ages, and races hanging out- walking to 7/11, worshipping on the grass. It was amazing. I could not be more proud of all the youth that attended. I’ll be blogging more about different aspects (The Music, & Speakers)